Why didn't you wake me up?
I forgot.
I can't talk now.
I'm Joe, an unemployed university graduate.
I have a temporary job in a tutorial center.
Since I got no money, I live with my best friend.
He is a foreigner who doesn't like girls.
Hey, stop the car! I need to drop!
I'm Fat, a senior officer in an investment company.
I earn a considerable salary.
Here is my brother.
Here is... my bra.
No.
Here is my brother, not bra. Should be brother.
Here is... my bra.
I've mentioned that so many times.
It should be my brother, but not bra.
I am the boss, a talent from the financial sector.
Frank, I understand that.
But...
You still can't mess up these two words.
Or you're done.
But...
I have a beautiful girlfriend.
She is Rachel. She is a lawyer.
She grew up in a foreign country. That's why she is open-minded.
She has her own view and character.
She even chooses to play the pole dance
and plans to open one herself.
This should be lower.
I really enjoy our relationship.
Me too.
But my parents won't agree with it.
I'm not going to marry you for my mom or your parents.
Principal.
I wonder if you could assign another two classes for me.
My mom borrowed money from neighborhood.
I am eager to pay the debt.
Joe, all Chinese can teach Mandarin.
But I chose you among them.
I've given you a hand already.
Once I found my girlfriend
with a condom in her handbag.
Her reason was...
She might fancy other man.
However, I have a traditional family.
My father's great-grandfather lived
That's why he believes we should keep the martial art spirit.
He even built a martial art court
for recruiting pupils to compete in martial skills.
Recently, my mom is forcing my marriage
and asks me to introduce my girlfriend to them.
But I dare not bring my girlfriend
to visit my hoary and venerable father.
, after your father had watched "Curse of the Golden Flower
he painted our ceiling golden.
You should ask him to see "The Banquet".
He watched that too.
Now all the floor was painted black.
Are you serious?
Get back as soon as possible. Your father is going mad.
Okay, I will arrange that.
Can you come back this Lunar New Year? Bring your girlfriend with you.
Okay... I have to go to work now.
Bye.
My mom asked me to go home in this Lunar New Year.
I am not going with you as I can't change my character.
I dare not bring you home since they are so conservative.
I'm afraid... They'll be disappointed when they see me?
Maybe we should find someone really frustrated
before you show up
so as to give them hope. What do you think?
Look.
Look for a girlfriend taken home.
30000 bucks for two weeks.
You got any girlfriend experience?
So what?
As I've seen so many Japanese episodes...
I am looking for a girlfriend.
I will pay 30000 bucks for two weeks.
She will visit my parents in Guangdong.
The mission is to make them loathe you.
You should dress fashionably.
A certain level of sexy. Once my father said
"whoever is better than you",
then your job is done. I will pay you money.
Do you understand the rules?
Change a tight suit first.
Okay...
We aren't looking for a monkey.
Give me another chance.
No, you're not suitable to us.
Come on. Why are you leaving?
I quit. They are nuts.
Think about your situation.
And think about that 30000 bucks.
Boss, please give her another chance.
In fact, this girl does have some talent in acting.
She is great in playing different roles.
Really? She can't even dance.
And not sexy enough.
Listen, when George Lucas was shooting "Star Wars",
he didn't look for real aliens, right?
You look like aliens though.
Who are you talking about?
I can't dance? I am not sexy?
Listen, I will beat you to death.
Beat you to death! Believe or not?
Those who need money can do everything.
First, you should take a training.
If you're fit, we may consider employing you.
More passionate.
Change a sexy suit. Pull down a bit.
Open your heart and soul.
(Contract)
As long as you have gone through the contract,
you can sign your name now.
The contract will become effective after I've got expelled?
Yes, as long as my father said
"whoever is better than you",
the contract will become effective.
But I have one question.
Speak up.
I wonder...
if I could bring him together. I'm afraid of my own safety.
What does that mean?
No problem...
Make sure you will report to me regularly, Ok?
You'll be fine. If he acts recklessly, I will report to you.
He won't.
Anyway, I don't mind.
Make sure you are not that sissy at my home.
I won't.
Nothing has changed here.
Move on.
Brother!
You are getting more and more beautiful.
Let me introduce to you...
My girlfriend, Joe Lau.
This is Alex Hello
She is my younger sister Ting.
This is Auntie Mei.
Auntie Mei, hello.
My sister and I were brought up by Auntie Mei.
She doesn't laugh much, but she is nice.
What's that?
Mom was right. Heaven and earth has turned upside down.
You know what to do, right?
Stand there and light your cigarette.
Turn your face to that way.
Turn now!
See that? It's not easy to draw a word on a face.
It's all about profound skill.
Take this 500 bucks to buy some herbal medicine.
Father!
You are home?
I am home.
It is great.
Let's go. Move inside.
Haven't you seen that? We will die.
I'm here. What are you afraid of?
But I am really frightened.
Come on, drink it.
No! Not for drinking... Medicated wine's just another kind of wine.
Dad, you are a great master.
Nonsense!
I am just a successor of our great martial artist.
Fat
Mom Fat
Let me take a look at you.
Great...
It's only your ancestors lived in the same village with him.
Now Fat is home and brings a girlfriend with him.
Where is she now?...
What are you doing here? Father is looking for you.
No... I am not going.
Move on...
Let me introduce to you.
Come on.
Let me introduce my American friend first.
He is Alex. He teaches English in Beijing.
I am Alex. Meet the great Master.
Where, where
What? You don't understand English?
"Where" is a polite response.
Then "where, where" is just something like not at all.
Stop now. Let me take a look at our daughter-in-law.
She is just my common friend!
You won't bring a common friend home.
Let me introduce.
She is Joe Lau. She came back from a foreign country.
Hello! Uncle, nice to meet you.
Please take good care of me.
My name is Joe Lau.
Enough.
Dad, western manner.
Let me ask you. Do westerners love drinking medicated wine?
Why are you drinking still? You already drank last night.
Look at your pale face.
Do you play exercises?
We do. We play tennis in Beijing.
Yes, we play tennis.
What kind of exercise is it?
Chuan! Yes.
Show them.
We have already lost 3 years
in the Martial Art Competition
between Wang and Fok family.
Chuan is a boxer champion.
I invite him to win the contest for us.
This is called an exercise!
Let us show you our tennis. Come on...
Bring the racket!
Magnify yourself.
Here is our demonstration.
Come on Great.
Enough!
Heresies.
Father.
Honey, wake up.
Are you okay, Father?
I'm fine...
As long as I take a walk, I'll be fine...
I will be fine...
Hold on! No...
He has woken up already. What's with you?
Are you okay?... Why are you looking at me?
Father, do you know what happened?
Seems like a dagger was attacking me.
Luckily, I jumped into a river to avoid it.
He hasn't worked up his mind yet.
Who is it? Who made me drenched?
She is a walking disaster!
Zhuzi said,
servants mustn't be pretty.
Wife mustn't wear heavy makeup.
Dad, her dressing is conservative today.
Bullshit!
She showed half of her bottom in front of us.
You still reckon it as conservative?
Go and tell her...
Tell her to break up with me?
Ok, let me send her away!
Hold on...
As the saying goes,
one can row a liner in his stomach.
It should be, chancellor can row a boat in his stomach.
Right...
Tomorrow I will give a dinner
and introduce you to our neighborhood.
Tell your John...
Father, she is Joe. Right...
Ask her to take a rest and don't play the buffoon tomorrow.
Go now.
Ok.
Hey, Fuddy-duddy. Why are you so considerate this time?
Though I am a fuddy-duddy, you are no sexy maid.
I asked you to pretend sexy, but not killing my dad.
That's why we have to talk about it.
As you know what we are going to do tomorrow.
Am I going to sacrifice myself again?
Today is just a family scandal.
But tomorrow, we've got to face some real friends.
He can't bear that anything goes wrong.
Alex is right.
It's late already.
Get back to your room.
I've got to take a shower.
Shower?
Get up.
He is taking off his trousers.
If he dares to touch you,
you just beat him off.
Get it?
Don't be afraid.
I am done.
What are you doing here?
T o strike your unreasonable desire.
I lack confidence to those suddenly taking off trousers.
I get used to it.
Excuse. I guarantee.
I guarantee that I won't touch you...
I won't take liberties with you.
But according to our contract,
you should play your part in front of my parents.
Fat, mom has come.
Go to bed now. Be quick!
What are you doing?
Give me a soft glance.
This is apoplexy.
What should I do?
Fat Mom.
I remember I had locked the door.
See if it can help.
What is it?
Treasure for men. I heard it produces the magnetic field
that helps stimulate androgen.
When X sperm meets with Y eggs,
a baby will come.
Mom, it seems like an electric mosquito repellent.
No...
Here is an instruction leaflet from the royal family.
Really?
Men's health, women's fortune...
Your father and I hope that you can marry soon.
Our whole family relies on you.
I understand that, mom.
But marriage doesn't like shopping in a convenient store.
What are you saying?
You think I can't figure out your relationship?
Mom, keep this a secret from dad.
He would get mad if he knew it.
Don't bother him. I am open-minded.
Furthermore... newfangled.
A great writer said, a family without children
is like a tree without fruit.
But our relationship isn't stable.
We usually argue over stocks.
You'll be fine as long as a child is born.
Mom, goodnight.
Mr. Fok, please respect yourself.
Don't fish in troubled waters!
Miss Lau, please be more professional.
Don't be so fussy!
You know, some body parts of a woman
is as sensitive as a military base.
Alex.
What?
I wonder if you could teach me English.
Sure. But my charges... is high.
500 bucks per hour.
But... I am looking for a Mandarin tutor too.
I wonder... if you charge high.
As same as you.
Learning English is nothing to do with teaching.
As long as you watch more and listen more, you will be fine.
You hear dogs barking all day. Do you understand what they means?
I...
My father has come. I recognize his footstep.
What are you doing?
I don't want to provoke him again.
Idiot! You are here to provoke him.
Are you giving up 30000 bucks?
Make some noise now.
What kind of noise?
Just like...
Be quick. It's disgusting.
Come on.
Another one.
No.
How come there isn't any noise? I made a mistake?
What is he doing?
He is practicing light skills.
Light skills?
Hey, bring me a ladder! I can't go down!
Ladder!
Where are you going?
I've reached my climax for 8 times. Why bother me?
My abdomen is totally worn out.
Right, can I seek redress?
I promise I won't make a mistake anymore.
Dad.
Why don't you go to sleep so late?
I have a stomachache.
Where is my daughter-in-law?
Dad.
Be careful about your address.
I disagree with sexual relationship before marriage
as it leaks out male energy.
Dad, she insists that.
Don't slip your mouth.
I got it. Mom said so.
A great writer said... Mom said so too.
How about Parkin?
Not yet. It's late at night.
Are you trying to comment on a monumental literary work?
In fact, I am here to tell you that
I am a scientist but not a fuddy-duddy.
One can correct her improper behaviors. What I frighten most is...
What is it? Taking drugs.
Drug addicts will permanently damage their nervous system.
They even give birth to freaks.
Does it include coffee addicts?
No...
Ketamine, Midazolam, Secobarbitalum...
Dimethylamphetamine, Phentermine, MDMA...
Ugly hijacker, die out of fate...
What are you talking about?
Ugly hijacker? Die out of fate?
This is something endanger to our descendants.
Once discovered, get lost from our family!
Maybe I have to check her blood, urine and DNA.
No...
It is easy to recognize a drug addict.
Whenever she bursts out, her limbs will tremble.
After taking drugs, she'll shake her head.
Are you okay? It hurts...
Remember that.
Don't stand behind a martial art master.
It really hurts...
Is he trying to take liberties with me through sleepwalk?
Master Wang! Welcome! Congratulations...
Welcome!
Welcome...
We haven't seen for ages.
Hello. Haven't seen for ages.
Welcome...
Please make way.
Welcome...
What are you doing? Why are you coming again and again?
Back away...
Welcome...
Villagers, my son hasn't come home for 2 years.
This time he brought his girlfriend with him.
I am so glad. I drink a toast to all of you!
Cheers...
Sorry, my girlfriend will be here soon.
I will introduce her to you later.
I handle investment and joint venture in Beijing.
I believe Fok and Wang Family
is like Cambridge and Oxford University in Britain,
which have a tradition of competition every year.
What if we establish a company
so as to make the competition more systematic?
I also suggest that we can import the UFC competition rules,
so that we can enhance and glorify ourselves
and make Foshan the chief martial art city in China.
What do you think?
I have lost for 3 years already. I must win this time!
Talk about that later!
If I can't win the championship for four consecutive years,
I'll be regarded as the loser.
Fine... Let's discuss about it later.
We'll consider...
A toast to Fok and Wang family!
A toast to Wang and Fok family!
Cheers...
Are you ready?... Yes...
Okay, go!
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Miss Lau!
Hi! Everyone, cheers! Come on!
I drink a toast to you.
This is Secretary Xie.
Come on.
We drink a toast.
This is Uncle Chow.
Someone is having nosebleed.
The weather is dry.
The humidity today is 95%.
Bumpkin, moisture can provoke nosebleed too.
Come on, cheers.
This is thrice champion, Bobo Wong.
Why are you crying?
Child.
This is Master Wang.
This is Director Wang.
Pal.
Cheers. Great body...
Cheers!
Cheers...
Dad.
Are you okay?
Do you remember this well?
Of course I remember.
I used to piss in it when I was a child.
Do you know our family drank water in this well?
Sorry, l...
Forget it. It has passed.
No, I pissed in it this morning too.
Luckily, I haven't drunk water today.
Look, who is this?
This is you as a child.
What about this? Great-grandfather.
What about this? Grandfather.
What about her? She must be granny.
Her braids are just the same as the photo's.
Do you know why I made them?
T o inherit our family,
our history, our tradition
and our ancestors!
She should be blamed.
She puts our ancestors to shame.
She is so ill-bred and dissolute.
It's not her fault.
Not her fault?
Right, it's my fault!
I shouldn't even know her, bring her home,
and show her in front of the villagers.
Villagers? We are Fok family from Tienjin.
In fact, it's not her or your fault.
It's my fault.
I thought I could add glory to our family
by building up a big martial art court, buying the best equipments
and hiring the best masters.
But now when John bends her body,
everything collapses.
She is Joe.
That's why everything should begin from Kung Fu.
Or else, it is just a shame.
Hi! Can I come in?
Yes.
I have some gifts for you.
As women've been suffering for thousands of years,
now we should turn over.
How can I do that? My hubby will kill me that way.
Wrong!
In fact, men love this kind of thing
as long as the one who wears it isn't his wife.
Look, if you don't try it,
how can you know about your charisma?
How can you fight for your leading role?
No wonder Fat hasn't come home for 2 years.
Remember, make your hubby a pet in your hands.
Have you succeeded?
Your body can solve all problems.
Men are so cheap.
The problems that can't be solved by spear and pike,
can be solved by this thin and transparent thing.
Then he will die with a smile.
Do your best!
She is the one to be blamed.
Dad, I will break up with her
and find another one better than her.
You can't blame her anyway.
I understand that there is a big difference
between our culture.
The accommodate period for me to adapt
my life in Southern China was 3 years.
But now, she has come 3 days only.
I believe John is a fairy
to give a test on us.
Joe is only a westernized girl.
Just give her a chance. That's it.
How was my performance today?
Why don't you look at me when talking?
How was my performance today?
You have made some progress.
But my father said you are a fairy.
You'd better perform yourself sexier.
Pull down your collar a bit and pull up your dress.
You think it is still not enough?
This is my baseline already.
Or you simply ask Rachel to come.
Maybe your father would accept her.
I can't risk.
Rachel is a girl who doesn't give way.
It is not easy to get someone to change his character.
Right?
As long as you can irritate my father, my life will become easier.
Oh, Romeo! Romeo!
Romeo!
What is it?
Chuan, we are learning English through Shakespeare's works.
You can join us too.
I haven't played before... Come on.
Come on. You play the role of Romeo
Sleep there.
Love scene? Yes.
Sleep there. Sleep there?
Yes.
Be careful.
This is about... Romeo misunderstands that Juliet has died.
That's why he kills himself.
I am not going to play it.
Chuan. You will be fine.
You think she's dead. You just try to kill yourself.
Close your eyes.
Ok.
Muscle...
M-U-S-C-L-E, muscle.
Your muscle is strong.
Strong...
Your muscle is very strong.
Oh, Romeo! Your muscle is very strong.
Put a little more oil...
is... smooth.
Smooth...
Yes, smooth.
Why are you pushing oil on me? Shakespeare knew that too?
Dad, what is you dream for all this?
Do you think I am a nut? In fact, I have an aim.
If I didn't bring Chuan back,
he should have joined the gangsters.
But now he is so responsible.
The others living in the village had no chance to study.
But now, I let them practice martial arts and study.
This is called, martial arts stimulates glory.
I am afraid that you'll spend all your money.
Can you see the mountain beyond there?
I occupy the whole area.
At the end, it's still a kind of landed property item.
No, it is a kind of spirit item.
I've got it, mom.
Okay, take care of yourself too.
Okay, I've got it.
Sister. Ting.
How to make a guy know that a girl loves him?
Pardon?
How to make a guy know that a girl loves him?
Easy.
Women should learn to use their body language.
It's not a privilege for whores. Come on!
Come on, Ting, try it.
Come on, come with me.
Twist your bottom.
Twist like a pendulum.
Right, your waist.
Smile. And your glance.
Come on, raise your hand.
Twist your bottom. Twist again.
Like this? Yes, and mind your face expression.
Smile again.
Ting!
What are you doing?
Dad.
Practice and you will make it. Thank you.
1, 2, 3!
The most important of all is the expression on your face.
And your fists plus a ferocious face!
Come on, try it.
A ferocious face!...
You failed. Try again.
Remember, a ferocious face!
No matter what, we should keep our face ferocious.
Ting, show my DVD to them.
Remember, a ferocious face!
Don't doubt our master.
There must be a reason behind.
Let's follow the movement.
Start!
A ferocious face!
What's the noise?
What are you doing here! Poo?
Fong...
I am here.
Look at me... Do you see any difference?
Nothing special.
Eyes irritation?
Since Joe has come, everything has changed.
Including me?
Your legs are turning black. Are you poisoned?
For 30 years,
you haven't looked at me seriously.
I didn't.
Come on! So you can look at me clearly.
Come on.
What is the English name for Master?
Mr. Fok.
How about buying things?
Shopping.
Are you practicing Kung Fu or English here?
Sorry.
Everything even the ostrich has changed.
Let's see the box office and viewers' opinions.
If possible, we can spread it to the whole of China.
Come on...
She has changed to a sexy style.
What's wrong with it? You've changed too.
I changed from Marxism to Master Fok
and back to tradition.
Mom is more open-minded than you.
But she is just turning from sensitive to sexy.
Internally...
she has changed a lot.
It's hard to explain in a few words.
She is no longer a virtuous lady.
It's not your mom's fault. Since your girlfriend's come, everything's changed.
She again?
I thought thoroughly. Whoever...
is better... Okay!
I listen to you and send her home!
Listen, do you have relationship with her?
Dad, you mean sexual relationship?
Did she give you her virginity?
Virginity?
I mean, did she give you her first sex?
Why are you speaking English now?
Did you have sex with her? Did you?
Dad, you know she is...
Stop now! I have changed my mind.
Since she has given you her virginity,
we as a martial artist should be trustworthy.
Having good faith and virtue...
You are so ungrateful!
Dad, what's wrong with you? What are you talking there?
Son, she is over demanding.
And that is absolutely contradictory.
Is virginity that important?
Virginity is a value-added opportunity for women.
It's their privilege.
Then... We should give her a chance.
Did you take a look at your mom? She has changed.
But I do give her a chance.
We even solved the water conservancy problem.
Changing a girl is just an easy task.
That's the deal!
Owing to my dad's thoughts,
no matter what, we should demonize your role.
Go and take away my father's lifeblood.
By killing you? No.
It is the shoulder pole worshiped in our ancestral shrine.
It is a relic of Master Fok.
If you break it, I'll be finished off.
How can you do that?
You have no humanity!
You are here for this.
Sacrifice oneself for all of us.
Relieve the besieged by besieging the base of the besiegers.
Fine... just cut your bullshit.
An extra 1 0000 bucks.
Money is not everything.
1 5000 bucks, deal or not?
Deal! Let me take away the shoulder pole first.
Did you see the shoulder pole?
Master Fok used it to resist gangsters when he's young.
He fought against heavy odds,
and even broke the shoulder pole.
From then on, he became famous, and turned into a great master in China.
Did Fat practice Kung Fu when he's young?
His grandfather forbad all his descendants to practice Kung Fu.
Why?
Once, my father argued with someone
when he was buying beef...
Eventually the guy died.
He beat him to death?
We found that he died from heart disease.
But my father never forgave himself.
How about you? Did you practice Kung Fu?
I changed to study electronic engineering.
I successfully ameliorated the condenser in fridges.
and earned a little bit when entering the market.
It should be a lump sum, right?
I bought lots of land and built a big martial art court.
In this way, you can fulfill your dream?
It is not a dream for me only.
Chinese invented gunpowder but used it to set off firecrackers
Invented compass but used it in Feng Shui.
The only thing we did it right was martial art.
It is still there up to this moment.
My father handed this shoulder pole to me,
so as to remind me the origin of Fok family.
Whenever I feel lonely or depressed,
I remember my family is everything.
I nearly understand...
your words.
I understand it is something difficult for you.
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
Nice to meet you.
Come on...
Let me show you some Kung Fu. You'll become modest afterwards.
Throw away all your illusion and distracting thoughts.
Come one, let me show you.
Okay.
Come on, stand still.
A hook...
A lead...
Don't hook anyone.
But you can practice hook in Kung Fu.
Come on.
A hook...
A stroke...
Why is it a stroke?
This is another skill.
A hitch...
A palm...
A push...
A roc spreading wings.
A roc spreading wings!
A chicken hopping...
Old eagle catching chicks.
Is it true? Is it a real skill?
Come on.
How can you fall ill without getting the shoulder pole?
I don't know.
I felt strange when I reached the shrine.
My stomach is painful.
What should we do now?
I don't know.
I will try again after recovery.
I spend money on you.
Mom. Are you okay?
My stomach is painful.
Your hand is cold.
She should be fine.
Her pulse seems strange.
Have a desire for love.
What are you doing? This is my hand!
Dad, are you fine with it?
Your duodenum is fine.
Internal secretion is okay.
Lungs are great.
The cervix is healthy, doesn't suffer from indigestion.
Take some medicine, and she'll be fine.
Dad, don't mess around. This is about a life.
The biggest advantage of Chinese medicine is she won't die even taking wrong herbal medicine.
Is she pregnant?
Pardon.
Is she pregnant?
Pardon.
Whore!
Ask her not to eat too much salad.
Ask her not to kill herself.
Not to kill herself.
My Dad is a professional in engineering but not this one.
Be cautious if he wants to transplant your organs.
Last night,
I met your dad when I nearly took the shoulder pole.
I talked with him and found that he was not that stuffy.
In fact, he is an old naughty child.
Let me rest for one or two more days.
I promise I'll take the shoulder pole and irritate him.
Okay?
Rachel just called and asked about the progress.
I've got it. I promise to do it quickly.
Okay.
Right, my dad misunderstands that you gave your virginity to me.
Maybe you tell him
it's not the case,
so as to stimulate him. Okay?
My 30000 bucks should include your honor and reputation.
Right?
Get lost! Cut your nonsense!
Didn't you say that you'd have a lump sum soon?
I will have it. Relax.
Mom borrowed money for you to study
in order to help you make a career. Please don't do anything wrong.
Mom, I won't. What are you thinking here?
Hang up now. Uncle Lau is collecting money again.
Mom is fine. Don't make things difficult for yourself.
Mom... I miss you.
You slept so early?
Have you slept yet?
What are you doing? Nut!
Don't have fancy on me.
Who is having fancy on you?
It's just my parents only.
You think I'll dump my lawyer girlfriend because of you...
What are you talking about?
Nothing. Sleep now.
I won't disturb you.
Have you slept yet?
Sorry, I didn't mean it.
I'm fine as long as it is the truth.
Just work a little harder, and the job will be done.
Afterwards, you can take my money and leave.
I don't get it.
Why money is held by the southerners?
This is a question of Economics.
Have you ever suffered from poverty?
Not in my memory.
My memory is totally different from yours.
But I do have feelings towards poverty.
Mom
Please give me another creamy candy, okay?
I have been waiting for a month.
It's so delicious. Mom, fancy to lick it?
I will remember this flavor.
When I am sleeping tonight,
in my dream, I want to taste another one.
What's wrong?
What are you doing? I...
You... what are you doing? I don't know.
How come you are here? Why are you sleeping here?
Brother Fat.
How can one know he is in love with someone?
Do you like her?
Yes.
Do you care for her? Yes.
Do you remember her scent?
It is difficult.
Do you know if she is sleeping?
I have slept too. Do you know if she is dreaming?
I don't know.
Do both of you have common interests?
Common interests...
It's my honor to declare that
in order to show our sincerity to UFC,
we'll adopt the UFC competition combat rules
in our match between Fok and Wang family this year.
First of all, thanks for Master Wang's support.
Give him a big hand!
And all of our villagers' support!
We'll lead Foshan the martial center in China.
Now, please welcome Master Wang!
To show Wang Martial Club's sincerity,
we donate our heirloom, magnificent whip
as the badge of this congress.
Thank you, Master Wang!
I also donate the shoulder pole of Master Fok.
Ting, give me the shoulder pole!
My dad was right. I shouldn't have practiced Kung Fu,
even reading martial art novels.
Or reach Wuyishan and Wuhan.
Now the shoulder pole is out of luck.
I've got to pick out all other shoulder poles!
Mom, stop your nonsense.
The shoulder pole is here...
Shoulder pole?
Shoulder pole... has turned out that way.
Uncle Fok, I am sorry.
I found the bag holding weapons was really beautiful.
So I picked that down to take a look,
suddenly a mouse which was bigger than a cat
jumped off.
I was scared and beat it with the shoulder pole.
That's why it has turned into pieces.
You used the shoulder pole to beat a mouse?
You used Master Fok's shoulder pole to beat a mouse?
Sorry. I didn't mean it.
Sorry, madam.
How many times have you apologized in my house?
There is something can't be solved by an apology.
I shut my mouth then.
How could I know you? How could I bring you home?
What the hell!
Fok 1. Fok 2.
Fok 3. Fok 4. Fok South.
Fok North. Uncle Fok.
You leave first. It's not the right time to apologize.
Return to your room.
All of you leave now.
Leave now...
I hire you here to change my dad's attitude
so that he may accept Rachel.
But now,
Except my dad, my mom, my sister, Auntie Mei...
everyone in the house goes mad. What should I do?
Try to run away from my wages?
I won't. I'll pay according to the contract.
Great.
What is this?
Master Fok's shoulder pole?
Didn't you break it into pieces?
This is the philosophy of computer.
Keep the most important part. Idiot.
You are so clever. My dad can be helped.
System restoration!
Fok Gold.
Fok Silver.
Fok Copper
Fok iron Old Fok.
Fok... Cholera.
Dad! Fok Sick.
The shoulder pole is fine!
Exactly the shoulder pole of Master Fok!
What should we do next?
Fundamentally, nothing will be changed.
But stop stimulating him at this moment.
Just keep doing your job and let him experience aside.
But I really need the money.
I'm afraid that my mom can't stand any longer.
Don't be anxious. I'm afraid that you'd leave with the money.
Right, I can't force you to believe me.
What should I do? The Lunar New Year is coming.
But I have no money left.
And I have to buy New Year stuff for my mom.
Maybe we take a rest tomorrow
for half day to buy some stuff.
Afterwards, you can take them home for the New Year.
Look.
What? Bought anything?
A palankeen! Wanna ride the palankeen?
Fancy to sit?
For you.
How do you know I love this kind of candy?
I don't know.
I only know I love this candy.
I was a greedy child.
But my father worried too much candy could decay the teeth
and did not allow me to eat. I couldn't hold myself
and stole candy from my neighborhood.
When my father knew that, he beat me hard
and called me the white rabbit thief.
So you hate this candy and no longer eat it.
Wrong.
The next day, my father bought me a big packet.
He said we can't be a theft no matter what.
It is a way to teach you the right thing.
In fact, he was right.
Once, my mom tried every method to buy some candy
and put them into different places.
So that I couldn't eat all at a time.
Your mother was smart.
I once ate a whole packet.
You are lucky that you were born in a wealthy family.
Once I saw that my mom secretly picked a candy.
Split it and put it in her mouth.
Then she quietly wrapped it up and put it back.
At that time, I had a stirring of emotion.
I thought I should study hard
and study in university, so I could make money.
Then I could buy tons and tons of candy for her.
No wonder you think of it when you're dreaming.
I made dreams? I didn't eat candy in my dream.
Really?
What about you? Of course not.
I sleep well and seldom make dreams.
Seldom make dreams.
Seldom make dreams?
How to say " Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin" in English?
The moon represents my heart.
You ask how deep my love is,
and how long my love is.
My love is real.
My affection is real.
The moon represents my heart.
The moon...
represents my heart.
The round moon
Looks at all people in the sky.
Walk around alone on the street.
I confuse love and hatred.
I'm not as tough as you thought.
The moon is sorrow sometimes.
It changes everyday, on your face.
The so-called forever and ever
is just a misunderstanding.
I sing that song slowly
You ask how deep my love is,
and how long my love is.
My love is real.
My affection is real.
The moon represents my heart.
Stop... now...
How can you get hurt in this critical time?
From now on, you can simply wear one shoe.
Chuan, our fist champion, can hurt him.
It seems that Alex's Kung Fu is not bad too.
I can't lose to Master Wang again!
Alex, can you represent us?
But I am a foreigner.
There isn't any national boundaries in martial art.
Listen.
A roc spreading wings.
A chicken hopping.
Two dragons to the sea.
Netting moon in the sea.
Monkey grabbing peach.
Dragon with regrets.
Holding the balance.
Why haven't I heard of this skill?
Why not? I found it myself.
Ladies and Gentlemen! Hello!
The annually martial art competition is about to begin.
This year, Fok family has enlarged an army
so as to take back the fist championship.
Master Wang also sharpened his sword, so as to defend his champions.
Now the red side, which is the present fist champion,
his nickname is crazy cow, Bobo Wang.
He represents Wang Physical Education Club.
For the blue side, he is an American
who has a nickname womanizer, Alex.
He represents Fok's Righteousness House.
UFC Foshan trial match will begin today.
If it is successful, we'll hold a big feast next year.
Red and blue side, on your mark.
What are they doing?
What?
Brewing.
Alex, listen to my instructions.
I shout the skills and you follow.
Weak skills first.
Attack his blindside.
Catch him unaware.
Make a diversion.
Kill him by another's hand!
Drop the Gong Tau and try some wicked skills!
Resist the leopard and fight with the tiger.
Slant your bottom.
Upper body for weak, lower body for strong.
Light your body.
Objection! Somebody is making a curse.
Move forward and fight!
Come in straight and avoid it with across.
Come in across and avoid it with straight.
Body is a bow while hand is an arrow.
Eyes are shooting stars while legs are diamonds.
Damn it. Kick!
Barbarian. Barbarian?
Pay attention to your waist.
Air may rise from your stomach.
Bobo.
Sitting on a Guanyin, pushing an old man.
Nasty! Cut water with a knife.
Drink in a sad mood.
I know that too. A life on earth without happiness.
Show your penis tomorrow.
Nasty!
Avoid your body as a crane, avoid your hand as a snake.
Serve for the people.
Strike down all evil spirits!
Life is a treasure while love is in a high value.
But for freedom, one can throw both of them.
Beat his lungs and beat his stomach.
Find a light in a fuzzy place.
Moon is fade, stars are drowning.
A big river with wide waves.
A breeze through flowers and make a nice scent among the shore
while I am living on the shore.
Kick his sex organ!
Damn it!
This is the most fragile area of men.
How could he kick that? He is wicked.
The best in the world is our mom.
Those have a mom is a treasure.
Dad, why are you singing?
This is the most effective song for relieving pain.
I have data on my hand.
The best in the world is our mom.
Those have a mom is a treasure.
Throw into mom's hug,
you will never forget your happiness.
Blue side wins!
Great!
This is not only a victory in martial arts,
but also art and culture!
Where shall we dine tonight?
My treat! You decide.
I am home finally.
Toilsome.
What's wrong? Perfume.
Long hair?
I slept on the sofa. Please don't misunderstand us.
This is a short one.
Seems like you are not only living together,
but also sleeping on the same bed.
In fact, this is a method to deal with my parents.
Since they hate cohabiting before marriage, right?
In this way, they will loathe her
and send her away earlier.
Nothing is happening to us.
Rachel, in fact...
I am in full apparel every time I sleep.
So you don't have to worry.
It's fine.
Just watch for us in the front door.
I have something important to tell Fat.
Fine.
Honey, I miss you so much!
I miss you too.
Hold on. If my parents see this,
we would turn all the previous labor to nothing.
What are you afraid of? Joe's on our side.
No, she would hear it.
We haven't seen each other for 2 weeks already.
I bet the truth is the show has turned into a reality.
And you are falling in love with her?
What are you thinking? How can it happen?
You should knock.
Uncle Fok is coming.
My dad is coming?
Take a seat...
Dad.
Uncle Fok.
Ra... Rachel, right?
Why are you still here?
Fat, Rachel has busied for a whole day already.
You...
Sit there with Joe.
I want to talk with Rachel. Go.
Excuse me.
Joe, sit here.
Rachel,
how long have you known Fat?
We have known each other for some time.
Furthermore, we live in the same...
same estate.
Not only that, but...
the same building.
Not only that, but the same floor
with the same property company.
Bullshit! As long as you are living in the same estate,
it should be the same property company.
Uncle, in fact Joe is not as much as
I know Fat.
It is not the key point.
The key is which girl Fat wants to get along with.
Rachel, don't mess around with my dad.
I didn't... He'll take it seriously.
I'm not messing around. We really live in...
Mosquito.
Uncle, let me tell you.
Mosquito again! How come there're so many mosquitoes here?
Ladies, stop messing around here.
My dad can't take anymore excitement.
I'm fine...
A much lower collar.
Great!
Keep chatting.
Keep chatting...
Keep chatting, right.
I express my good wishes to everyone, may health and wealth come generously to you.
Come on... I drink a toast to all of you!
Cheers!
Please sit down...
There is an important issue in Fok family
that I wish all of you here to testify for us.
Fat,
after this Lunar New Year, you'll become 34 years old.
Leave this village and you can't find the shop again.
Marry your beautiful Joe.
Give birth to babies. And grow old with her.
In fact, this is not only a victory meeting,
but also an engage banquet for Fat and Joe.
May I speak a few words?
Rachel, maybe we can discuss in private.
Today is a big day for Fat and Joe.
No, it should be a big day for Fat and me.
In fact, I have known him for 5 years.
We've been living together for almost a year already.
I am his real girlfriend.
Joe is only a stand-in that is paid by us.
Joe?
Uncle Fok, Auntie Fok...
Sorry.
Joe!
Fat, tell me!
Dad, I'll be 34 after the Lunar New Year.
You can't beat me as a child
for some minor mistakes.
Minor mistakes? You played tricks on all of us.
and ruined the purity of two girls.
You should be beaten!
What is the era now, dad?
Though you hire Joe,
she has given you her virginity.
How can you be that unrighteous!
I am not sure whether Joe is still a virgin.
But what I am sure is
I am not the one who ruined her virginity.
We haven't got any relationship at all.
But you did tell me that.
I cheated you only so as to make you dislike her.
Mei told me she heard that you were having sex,
and made a loud noise.
We were only pretending so you would send her away.
Tell mom, you slept with such a pretty girl every night...
Really nothing had happened?
Not even once?
No.
Fat! Are you a man at all?
It would be great if you had once.
We martial artists are faithful and tying of friendship.
We have good faith and virtue.
How can you add value to virginity?
Fresh air is the only advantage in this village.
Joe has left.
How come you have this?
Joe gave me. She said you were called The rabbit thief.
Right?
What else did she say?
She said a lot, including all your family members.
She said Ting was a pure girl. Her English was poor.
If I teach her English, she'll love me for sure.
Auntie Fok is the most open-minded person in this family.
I gave her some trendy underwear two days ago.
I thought she would go mad.
However, she accepted them with pleasure.
I think you can tell her
whatever new and interesting things.
In this way, she'll love you for sure.
For Uncle Fok,
he is the most easy-going person in this family.
As long as you tell him you enjoy martial arts,
and are willing to practice with him,
he will love you for sure.
Though Auntie Mei has a cool face,
she is a passionate woman.
She just doesn't know how to express her feelings.
I am sure your outgoing character can help her a lot.
Fat loves eating creamy candy.
If you have chances,
do buy him some.
Rachel, in fact, Fat hasn't forgotten you
in his heart.
Though we were intimate,
it was just for them to hate me and send me away.
So that he could marry you earlier.
Do you care for her? Yes.
Do you know if she is sleeping?
I have slept too.
Do you know if she is dreaming?
I don't know.
Do both of you have common interests?
Hold on!
Wait a second!
Wait for me!
I heard the phrase " village virus" in school.
Now I feel exactly the same.
I really can't get used to your family.
And I can't stay here any longer.
Fat,
I will only wait for you in Beijing. Okay?
Just stay.
Faye, where are they? It is still the office hour.
Mr. Fok, the Lunar New Year is coming.
That's why they left earlier for home.
Will you stay here for the Lunar New Year?
I think so.
Mr. Fok.
Chairman Lee just called to ask you to go for dinner
in the most luxurious restaurant in Beijing.
Please make sure you will arrive at eight.
I've got it.
I'd better leave now, bye.
Welcome, this way please.
Fat, to widen your knowledge,
this is the most luxurious restaurant in China.
I should enjoy this
with my beloved one.
Why with you?
Since you don't have a girlfriend.
I had one but I lost her.
Human is a kind of social animal. You can't stay alone.
Loneliness is something more serious than traffic accidents.
It's the biggest killer for men between 30 to 50.
The Golden Week is a highly risky period.
Only those having girlfriends live long.
That's why you have 3 girlfriends.
Can you see there? That one.
An actual body which suits you well.
No way. Her face has turned yellow already.
I bet she has Hepatitis B.
That one is my girlfriend. I'm talking about the girl next to her.
Sorry.
She is a classmate of my girlfriend's colleague.
She studied Chinese and is a little bit balmy.
However, she looks sexy when wearing white shirt.
You talk like a pimp.
I am just doing good for you.
Don't make fun with me.
I'd better go now.
Let me introduce to you. Fat.
Joe.
After you came to my house,
mom has changed into sexy and dad has changed into sensible.
Now he is much more gentle to my mom.
In fact, Rachel is the one who changed me.
I must thank her.
How is she recently?
Since you left, we...
we broke up later.
What are you doing now?
I am working in the editing department
as an assistant editor. But I'm a handyman in fact.
Do everything in the office.
Let me ask you.
Did you put that 30000 bucks in my luggage?
Why didn't you call me so long?
It's okay. I will pay you back the money.
Want another contract?
Or...
30000 bucks for 2 weeks?
I let you set the time limit.
A life term contract is fine too.